We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
