Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
