so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
