You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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