have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
