I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
