Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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