So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
