Joe is yelling at the trees again.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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