I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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