he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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