It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
