took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We don't watch enough power rangers
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
