If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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