you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
