I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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