I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize
