It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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