Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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