Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
