Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
