he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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