The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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