just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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