Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
