I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
