Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
