Ketchup is God's man juice
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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