he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Randomize
