i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
