Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
