How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
