He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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