i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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