try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
