That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
