Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
