Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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