R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
