You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Sorry about my life...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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