Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
