I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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