You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
