my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
