I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
