Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
