Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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