Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
