Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
