why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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