and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
