she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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